I never know how to open (or close) a blog. It always feels awkward.
Ok, so here goes- My name is Sierra and I am a recovering anorexic. Bam.
I’ve been in recovery for a long time. I’ve had babies. Weight has been gained. Weight has been lost. Stretch marks have happened. So has a lot of hard work and personal growth.
I was at a sweet spot, weight wise, for me. Somewhere I can be comfortably, at which my body is happy and the crazy is generally kept at bay.
Well, I’ve been enjoying lots of good food and kicking back breve iced mochas at work and a couple extra pounds have appeared as extra insulation on my tummy and hinny. I stepped on the scale and faced the music and indeed, it wasn’t bloat or my imagination. Sadface.
Instead of going into pyscho- anorexic mode and beating myself up I’m handling it much differently. I stared at my body in the mirror and saw all the things I do like. I (man this sounds so cheesy, but go there with me) affirmed my body. I bit bigger than I want to be, but it’s still my body and I love it.
However, I don’t want those couple extra pounds to gain long term squatter status so I do have a loose plan in place. I’m going to hit my strength training workouts hard. I’m going to cut back on sugar and empty carbs and focus my diet on high quality protein and fats.
I’m not going berserk or punishing my body. I’m approaching it from the standpoint of treating my body as a temple to be treated with care and respect.
The scale will go back to normal and I’m not going to stress about it.
For many of us who have struggled with eating disorders- a lot of it stems from having an intense (obsessive) personality with a heavy dose of perfectionism. I realize now that this can be a good thing. I am probably always going to be obsessing about something. I’m probably always going to have some discontent in my life, striving to be better.
The times in my life that I have been the happiest have been the times I’ve focused all that obsessiveness on the only one worthy of all my devotion- Jesus. So while I strive to do well by my body, my main focus is keeping the focus firmly where it belongs.