Suffering and Heaven

18920650_10158894564500074_8516742202078951748_nYesterday I took just Gabe out shopping.  I don’t often get to spend alone time with him and I was reminded what an amazing kid he is.  He has such a tender soul.  He wants to run an orphanage when he grows up… but he also wants to drive a Ferrari, so… 😉

We had a fun time, just the two of us.  On the way home he kept asking me about Heaven and what it’ll be like when Jesus comes back.

I explained to him that Jesus will appear in the sky with great glory, riding the clouds.  That every eye will see him, even those that pierced him.  That we will rise to meet him and be changed, to be like him.  That there will be no more sickness, death, pain…

I got choked up and so did he.  He said, “Mom, I can see him coming.”  I said, “honey that’s the Holy Spirit showing you that it’s true.”

You see, just the day before he had been in a lot of pain.  In between tears and sobs he had asked, “if God loves me, why am I suffering so much?”

The conversation, and the sweet presence of God, was something we both desperately needed.  Something that I need more of.

In my own suffering I tend to turn away.  I feel like I can’t take anymore disappointment at times, without losing hold of my faith.  But yesterday, it was like He peeled back the curtain obscuring eternity and gave us both a glimpse of our future and the end of suffering.  I felt a glimpse of the eternity and wonder awaiting us, and looking over at Gabe’s tear-filled eyes, I know he did too.

I know that Gabriel is being molded in ways I can’t even begin to comprehend.  I know he has a huge call on his life.  Even at the age of 8, there is a level of tenderness, empathy and hunger for knowledge of God that is amazing…. probably as the result of all the suffering he’s had to endure.

We can got lost in the hardships we face but we need to remember that life here is short and eternity is long.  We can’t choose the trials but we can choose how we face them.  Our God loves us.




How Can I Stay Quiet?

If you have read any of my blogs you will see that I strive for honesty and transparency.  I passionately hate falsehood or b.s. of any kind.  If we aren’t willing to be ‘real’ no one is getting healed, no one is getting impacted.  These experiences and opinions I share are what I have tested and found to be real.  To be the truth.  In an age when lies sell headlines and the enemy is having a field day- we need to shout the truth from rooftops.  I have been under pretty severe attack from the enemy.  (like clockwork, when I move a pawn forward there comes a quick counter attack of darkness)  I will NOT shut up.  I’m going to get louder.  ” You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming.” 2 Peter 3:12  Our obedient and holy lives are actually hastening the return of Christ the King.

I share my story of sin and redemption openly because I know the power of it.  “They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.” Revelation 12:11

When we share what Christ has done in our lives the enemy trembles.  When we go out in the power of God the enemy is forced back into his literal hell-hole.  We are the ARMY of God.  We are anointed and appointed.  “Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.” 2 Timothy 2:3  We didn’t join God’s country club we entered a battlefield.  If you are serving God and things seem to be going wrong inexplicably or you are suddenly afflicted with dark thoughts, depression, hopelessness, etc.- that is the enemy try to silence you and beat you back.  You take authority over that junk in the Name of Jesus.

Maybe you were once working for the Kingdom but have shrunken back because of the ferocity of the battle.  Get back in that game.  If you aren’t fighting you are a P.O.W.  You are living like a prisoner when you are a child of the King.  No one is going to hand you your ‘promised land’.  You are going to have to wield that sword of Truth and slay some giants.  “Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:17

Be honest in your testimony, about what God saved you from or is still saving you from.  At my lowest, when I felt like I was hopeless, God used the brave and honest testimonies of women like Beth Moore, Joyce Meyer, Kay Arthur, and Lisa Bevere to convince me that I could do it too.  Women God plucked out of deep pits and radically changed.  That God uses people with lots of problems and a past.  God actually delights in that.  I want to be an overcomer and inspire many with what God has done in my life.  “He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the LORD.” Psalm 40:3

If we let the Devil bully us into silence then he wins.

“Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” Winston Churchilluntitled