Addressing a “Hater”

Hey guys, I’m returning with another short vlog to address a comment I received yesterday.  The main thing is, though that I talk more about the path to true hope and healing.  Much love, Sierra Rose

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Healing Autism

Hey guys so I made this video to update you and how my son is doing with his detoxing program.

I’ll give a quick rundown on what supplements we are using and why and the improvements we’ve seen so far.  The video is about 18 minutes long (sorry!) but it’s really hours of research condensed down.

Here are some sources from where I’ve gotten my info…

https://www.naturalhealth365.com/aluminum-autism-2396.html

https://www.drperlmutter.com/vitamin-d-just-bones/

https://www.drweil.com/health-wellness/health-centers/children/fish-oil-for-adhd/

https://www.naturalnews.com/034756_silica_anti-aging_heavy_metals.html

http://thesupermandiet.com/detox/

View story at Medium.com

View story at Medium.com

View story at Medium.com

View story at Medium.com

 

 

Approaching Prayer

How do we know that our prayers are being heard?  How can we make sure that our prayers are going to be answered?

A lot of it has to do with the way we approach prayer, our heart before we even start to pray.  I often let out a deep sigh and take a moment to simply remember that I am praying to my heavenly Father who loves me.  I don’t have to beg or barter.  This is my father who desires to give me good gifts.  He’s good.  He’s the very essence of love.  Even if I’ve had a bad day, his feelings towards me are that of a loving Father.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

If I’m feeling overwhelmed with my problems I need to put them in perspective.  God is all powerful.  This problem I face is nothing to the God who breathed everything into existence.  If he allows the issue, he has a reason for it.  If he allows the trial, he will enable me to stand up under it.  Every single thing he allows or blesses me with is working together for my good and to bring him glory.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

If he allows a thorn, an issue to remain (Hallelujah, sometimes he does just remove them!) it is because he sees a far bigger picture.  He knows this thing is going to allow you more room for growth.  Just like doing a set of squats under a heavy barbell. barbell It hurts, right?  It’s really hard.  You may be hobbling around for the next three days.  But you’ll get stronger.  God wants to grow our faith muscles too.

When we enter into prayer we should seek Him and not just what he can do for us.

“…your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”  Matthew 6:8

I have an adolescent son who is apparently very driven and always has his own agenda.  I’ve been known to get irritated with him because I get to feeling like every time he comes up to talk to me it is because he is trying to get something.  It’s irritating!  I’m like, “can’t you just simply spend time with me?”

I think about that often when I pray.  Yes, of course, we can and should bring our requests before God.  “you have not, because you ask not.” James 4:2  But I’d imagine that God is going to want us to approach him out of a desire to be close to him as well.  I may be bringing a laundry list of prayer needs and wants before the throne but first and foremost I should be approaching the throne of God because I love him and desire to be with him.

I only pray to the Father.  I know some people will pray and address the Holy Spirit or pray directly to Jesus…but I stick to a biblical model.  Jesus only prayed to the Father.  He instructed us to pray to the Father.  Through Jesus we have direct access to the Father in a way that Old Testament saints couldn’t even have dreamed of.  We’re not tip-toeing into the Holy of Holies hoping we don’t mess up and get struck dead.   The O.T. priests would literally wear bells into the Holy of Holies and if the bells stopped jingling there would be people waiting outside the curtain to pull their body out by an attached rope.  But the way has been opened up through the blood of Jesus.  When he died that thick veil was literally torn in two by invisible hands. torn We have access.  It’s amazing.  Let’s approach our heavenly Father directly and with a sense of reverence that is only fitting because we are approaching this God that is  indescribably powerful, amazing, jaw-dropping… yet he loves us and cares for us.

When we take a few moments to consider who we are actually about to engage, our hearts will be prepared to pray in a manner that is pleasing to God.  We’re likely to encounter him in new ways and see amazing answers to prayer.

 

Labor and Reward

My son, Gabriel, had a tough journey from the start.  My entire pregnancy was very difficult and it culminated in a very dangerous birth.  We barely got to the hospital in time.  I was almost fully dilated and I think the stress of trying to get to the hospital and being jostled around a scrambling to a birthing room, caused an umbilical cord prolapse.  They told me I had to get him out NOW or they were going to have to do an emergency C-section because his oxygen supply was being cut off.

I pushed with everything I had and he came out, blue and not moving.  He was also tiny at 5 pounds, 10 ounces.  The newborns size clothes we had bought were too big!!1930389_117444265073_6519_n

The revived him and he was ok but later struggled with learning to walk and other tasks. He needed a lot of early intervention therapy.  He needed title one support in kindergarten and 1st grade to bring him up to grade level.

Just this past year has been an agonizing ride as we had to go through topical steroid withdrawal.  He missed a ton of school as he the condition was so painful and debilitating.

It’s been a tough, tough journey but we serve a faithful God.  A good God.

Many nights his father and I knelt next to his bed and prayed over him after he fell asleep.  You’ve never met a child more loved and adored by his parents! 397824_10151092514535074_1177420881_n

We’ve always thought he was amazing and smart and gifted, even if those qualities needed a bit of nurturing to emerge fully.

Well…. yesterday I opened a letter from his school inviting him to apply for the Quest program; a program for highly gifted students, because he was showing signs of exceptional giftedness.

I stood in my kitchen as tears filled my eyes.

Proud doesn’t begin to cover it. 

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“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 

Today when you face your struggles, remember that God wants to use them to prepare you for greatness.  He has an end game and it is GOOD.  Pray hard, believe, do your best and you will be rewarded. 

 

 

Change

If you’ve read my blog over this past year you’ll know my son, Gabriel, went through a really awful withdrawal from topical steroids.  It was so bed he was basically on bedrest for months.  Basically he had gotten addicted to very strong steroids and it made “eczema” spread all over his body and affected his entire system.  I really don’t want to post pictures but google “topical steroid withdrawal” and you’ll get this gist of how horrific and debilitating this condition is.

But now 11 months in and he is so much better.  

gabebabe
My Little Goof

He’s not 100% yet but he’s come leaps and bounds from where he was.  So much so that we got a call from his school principal saying “Gabe’s looking great!  So… we really want him back in full school days.”  I told her it’d be a rough adjustment but we’d try.

Yesterday morning when I woke him up early it was so tough.  Because his adrenal glands were so messed up from the steroid usage, he has struggled horribly with insomnia.  We’ve (up till now) let him sleep in because he sleeps so poorly at night and for whatever reason slept better during morning hours.

But he has been making major strides so my husband and I agreed it might actually be helpful to try to force his body back into a more regular sleep schedule.  The first morning was rough but he actually did sleep a lot better last night and woke up much easier this morning.

It’s a huge step for him and milestone.  He still has a ways to go before he is 100% healed but we are so thankful for the progress he has made. 11825

A lot of times in life the path to healing is bumpy and hard.  There are times we need to push out of our comfort zones to reach the next level.  Change is hard but often necessary.

As Gabe’s loving parents there have been times where we comforted him and carried him (ha literally) but on this journey we’ve increasingly pushed him out of his comfort zone.  As he’s gotten better we’ve adjusted his treatment accordingly.  As he grew wings we’ve metaphorically pushed him out of the nest.  Times where we knew he was capable but it was his mind that was stuck.

How many of us are perfectly capable of making necessary changes but are still stuck in old patterns?  We were too sick at one point but we’re stronger now but still being held back purely in our minds? 

“Dear Jesus, you know our hurts, our pasts, our fears.  I pray that for all of us that you’d help us to break free from restrictive and sickly thought patterns.  Help us to embrace wholeness in every area.  Help us to find our wings and courage and fresh hope and get out of our comfort zones.  For your glory.  Amen.” 

Rest

I’m sitting here munching away on dark chocolate and it’s not yet 9am.  I just drank two cups of coffee plus a generous amount of cold brew.

Why?  Because I’m exhausted.

My husband has been gone on a business trip all week so I’ve been holding down the fort solo.  Which was going pretty well until last night.  Gabe had too much sugar (can’t blame him, a neighbor very thoughtfully brought over Christmas goodies) and was up just about all night long scratching.

I think he finally fell asleep but at 3 am my daughters bed-wetting alarm went off.  So I’m stumbling around in the dark trying to unhook this contraption from her soggy undies while it’s chirping loudly enough to wake the dead.  Gabe is awakened from his slumber and possibly the neighbors as well!

I finally just had to give him a dose of Benadryl so he could stop itching long enough to get back to sleep

I lay there for an hour afterwards and couldn’t fall back asleep until seemingly right before my alarm went off at 6:30.

So that’s why I’m drowning my tired sorrows in some lindt and starbucks.

I just realized all of this is very ironic because I’ve been meaning to write a follow up blog about rest.  My last blog was all about pushing through.  Grit and determination are important but no less important than finding rest.

In my TSW online support groups there is a lot of talk about PTSD, both for the kids who go through this nightmare and the parents who very much suffer along with their children.  I think we’ve been able to avoid it because we have really done everything we can to be there for Gabe, emotionally and physically.  If he was happy, we were happy.  When he cried, many times I held him and secretly cried too.  I’m a big believer in processing your emotions at the time.  Shoving them down leads to so many problems later.

But one lingering fear that still very much affects him is that he is afraid to sit and relax.  See, for months he would get brief energy bursts (where he could walk and function) and we’d be able to get out for an hour or two before he’d “crash” and it’d be back to sitting in the recliner for the rest of the day.  Because his adrenal glands were so shot from the long term steroid usage; sitting down would often mean he just couldn’t get back up again.  Which is terrible for anyone, but much more so when your a formerly very active 8 year old boy.

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He spent many hours here

Now he’s made tons of progress.  His skin looks so much better and he has loads more energy.  He can usually “go” from 9 am to 9 pm now.  A huge improvement where even an hour of being able to get up and walk around was a happy occasion.

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So he’s come so far but I think the fear of “crashing” is always with him and he is afraid to sit down.  Afraid that his energy will desert him if he takes a moment to rest.

I noticed this about a month ago.  I initially thought he always stood because maybe the dryness in his legs made it uncomfortable to bend into a sitting position.  But then I realized that wasn’t it.  He was afraid.  He would push himself all day and not sit at all except when in the car or on the bus.  It just couldn’t be good for him, especially since he is still recovering.

So in the evenings I started forcing him to come and sit with me.  He would resist it at first but pretty quickly he would curl his body close against mine and I would feel his tension melting away.  A deep sigh and a sense of peace would come over him.  What he was resisting was what he most needed.  He fought so hard all day to overcome but he also needed to embrace times of rest after all that valiant effort.

I think that’s all of us.

We think rest is zoning out or maybe shopping or eating or whatever.  And those things can be good and much needed but we need a deeper rest.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-29

When we’re stressed, hurting, tired…. we don’t need to numb ourselves we need to seek this genuine rest.  I know it’s something I need, every day.  Not to check my Facebook for the 56th time.  Not to overdo it on the wine.  But to find this place of true rest that will restore my soul.

We need this time of rest built in to our lives because we live in a pretty harsh world.  Our default mode is to seek bandaids and self-medicate when we really need to get our bruised souls in the healing presence of God.

This is really a challenge to me but hopefully an encouragement to others to seek His rest throughout the day.  He isn’t going to force us (he isn’t a pushy, bossy mom like me) to lay down next to those still waters, but the invitation is there. 790ff8ab4f67275d6ed6d2cd987f1335

“Lord, you know our burdens and our heavy cares.  Heavenly father we pray that we would surrender and relax into your rest.  Help us to have a childlike faith and open our eyes to the wonder of your intimate care for us.  Thank you for loving us so, even when we resist and struggle against what we need the most. Amen”

Our Vaccine Story

If there’s a grassroots movement any more controversial than refusing vaccines I certainly don’t know of it.  I really debated whether or not on whether to post our story because of the issue of the controversy associated with it.  The topic is incredibly polarizing and this is primarily a blog on living life as a Christ follower….but this is also something I feel incredibly passionate about.  If you don’t agree, that’s ok.  This is my story.

I had my first child, Michael, at the age of 18.  I was very young but I took the responsibility of growing a baby very seriously.  I went from a diet coke and skittles diet to eating balanced meals and lots of veggies. I took fish oil and gagged down pre-natal vitamins inspite of morning sickness.

Michael was perfect.  He was beautiful.  People would stop me on the street to comment on what a beautiful and happy baby he was.

He hit all his milestones early.  He was walking at 10 months.  He talked, he sang, he was a very happy and easy going baby.

But around the 18 month mark he underwent some extreme personality changes.  At the time I chalked it up to the fact that I had met, married and moved in with my husband very quickly and it was a LOT of change for a little kid to go through very quickly.

Michael would have uncontrollable tantrums.  Michael would bang his head violently in his crib at night.  It became difficult to bring Michael to public places because he would get completely out of control (sensory overload).  We also noticed that Michael had extreme reactions to loud noises.

At the time I was so young and knew almost nothing about autism.  This was almost 11 years ago and autism wasn’t as prevalent as it is now.

We began to realize that there was something wrong but we had no idea what.  We brought Michael out to parks frequently and there was a stark difference between him and the other kids his age.

The first time the “autism” word was introduced was when his great aunt commented that Michael acted in a similar manner as a man she worked with, and that man had autism.

As he got older he developed facial ticks.  He also developed a complete obsession with anything with a screen, especially video games.  Once we found him playing his Nintendo D.S. at five in the morning with a hollow look in his eyes.

He would say inappropriate things and seemingly overreact to the slightest touch or provocation.

I guess I always imagined that other people had special needs kids.  People that were smart and capable.  I was young and dumb.  If you can imagine a very young mom dealing with an autistic child when she knew basically nothing about the disorder- tough was an understatement.  I shudder thinking about the many times we “lost” it on Michael when we were presented with what we thought was extreme defiance and in reality Michael was coping with a traumatic brain injury.

I now believe that Michael was born healthy and so called “neuro-typical”.  I always had a strong feeling, call it mothers intuition, that that shots caused his condition.  As he grew and I realized the magnitude of his condition I turned to the modern marvel that is google.

I stayed up late reading story after story of parents claiming that their children were injured by vaccines.  Not just autism, but also SIDS and a wide variety of other issues.  Michael underwent a change that would have coincided with his 18 month check up and shots.  Unfortunately, I didn’t make the connection till years later.

They say, “safe and effective” and “reactions are 1 in a million”.  It isn’t true.  Most reactions go unreported because parents are uninformed.  They don’t know what to look for.  When the baby has a seizure a week after vaccines they don’t automatically connect the dots.  Or when somethings happens and they do confront the doctor, they are almost always brushed off and left to sort through the fallout themselves.  When a baby dies in his sleep following a well-baby check at 2 or 4 months it is ruled as SIDS and swept under the rug.

I didn’t learn till years later but pediatricians get bonuses (very large ones) from insurance companies when a certain percentage of their patients are fully vaccinated.  I was hesitant to vaccinate (I just had a bad feeling about it) but the Doctor was incredibly pushy and made it sound like my son would drop dead from an infectious disease if I didn’t get every shot, on time, plus countless boosters.  I ignored my feelings and went ahead because who was I to question established medicine?

Now I understand that Doctors are part of a very lucrative business.  The business of vaccines.  In 1989 vaccine developers were given complete immunity.  Us little people were no longer able to sue if our kid was severely injured.  Vaccines became a cash cow after that and a bunch of new ones were introduced to the schedule as quickly as possible.  It was a gold rush.  Testing was pretty minimal because vaccines are assumed to be safe and there is a strong financial incentive to assume that.  At around that time the first rumblings of autism were being heard. 1UKvV60fOjh6NLjHooUEqeA

I was born in 1986.  When I was in school we never heard of autism.  Or life-threatening peanut allergies.  Most kids were basically healthy and slim.  Health problems were very rare.

Is it a coincidence that the autism rate went from 1 in 10,000 in the 1980’s to now (some estimates put it as high as) 1 in 36?

The landscape of our schools has changed dramatically.  I know because I volunteer at my kids elementary school and you see it constantly.  Kids rock back in forth in their chairs.  Kids wear noise blocking headphones.  Kids need access to epi-pens at all times.  Teachers are stressed out trying to teach the kids while managing all the cornucopia of special needs represented in any given classroom.

It is tragically ironic that we inject our kids with so many vaccines trying to keep them healthy but they are incredibly sick, sicker than ever.

What I didn’t know back when my son was vaccinated is that these shots use aluminum in nano-particle form as an adjuvant-a substance that enhances the body’s immune response to an antigen.  They just assumed (based on ORALLY ingested) tests that the body could safely cope with and remove the toxic burden.  But ingesting and injecting are completely different ball games.  When we ingest aluminum we are able to clear it out of our systems almost completely through the natural digestive process.  But when we inject nano-particle aluminum our bodies send in white blood cells in response, which in turn surround (encapsulate) the aluminum, and then…it can travel throughout the body through our blood stream and lymphatic system.  It can and does get deposited in the brain.  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-5133049/Aluminium-vaccines-cause-autism.html  Aluminum is extremely neuro-toxic and no more so than when it invades the brain of a formerly healthy infant.  Or it can get lodged into muscle tissue until a traumatic injury or sickness signals the white blood cells to come.  The blood cells come and bring in a toxic cargo along with them.  That’s why not all vaccine injuries are seen immediately.  The aluminum can hang around in the body for an indeterminate period of time before causing all kinds of damage even years later.

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I find that it’s common that most parents will scour nutrition labels and be careful about what they feed their children (which is good) but have no idea what is actually being injected into their children.

Most people don’t know that there is peanut proteins (hello deadly food allergy!), tissue from aborted babies, and the same toxic carcinogenic junk they use to embalm dead bodies.  If you think I am making this stuff up you can visit the CDCs website and check out the ingredients for yourself. https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vac-gen/additives.htm

Autism is a blanket term for “neurological damage caused by vaccines”.  We are being lied to.  if you don’t believe check this out-

https://www.naturalnews.com/046630_CDC_whistleblower_public_confession_Dr_William_Thompson.html

A top CDC scientist came out and admitted that they had lied about the correlation they had found between the MMR shot and autism.  They purposefully fudged the data the hide the link.  Because admitting that they caused nothing less than a modern day holocaust on our babies is not something that they are going to do.

That explosive news never made it to main stream media.  Why?  Have you ever watched CNN or Foxnews?  It’s constant drug advertisements.  The pharmaceutical companies hold major sway in what stories see the light of day.

Are we all going to die if we don’t vaccinate? 22046511_10159471036940074_8637741367936285939_n I didn’t vaccinate my youngest and so far she hasn’t started any epidemics.  In fact she has no allergies, eczema, has never had an ear infection, and on and on.

Depending on where you live the only real threat is in getting measles.  Which contrary to popular, media-hyped, belief- is easily treated with mega doses of vitamin A.

Now research is showing that vaccines aren’t as effective as originally thought.  That measles outbreak at Disneyland?  Half of them were fully vaccinated.  Mumps outbreak amongst Norwegian college kids?  All fully vaccinated. http://sciencenordic.com/mumps-outbreak-hits-students-several-norwegian-cities

flu shotSo why risk injecting these toxic cocktails when there is no guarantee for real immunity?

Does the system really care about you or your health?  Or are you and your children being used for profit?  Globally, vaccines are expected to bring in 49 billion dollars next year in revenue.  https://www.statista.com/statistics/265102/revenues-in-the-global-vaccine-market/

It’s really up to you and it should be.

How is Michael today?  He’s doing pretty good.  He’s extremely lucky.  The real test is will he be able to function as an adult in society and I think that he will be.

That is not to say that is hasn’t been incredibly difficult getting to this point, that Michael hasn’t had to go through much pain, struggle and heartache for a choice he didn’t make.  I can’t articulate how hard it has been for all of us.

One conversation I will never forget is one I had with someone who was very pro-vax on the internet (cause those always go so well…) in which he accused me of looking for somewhere to lay the blame so I wouldn’t have to accept responsibility myself- for being a crappy parent and causing the autism somehow, I suppose.  Other than being completely insensitive and really horrific to say to a mother of a special needs child, it was so completely untrue that it literally could not have been more wrong.

The guilt is horrible.  I feel wracked with it at night when I let my mind wander and consider what could have been.  If I’d followed my gut and not had him vaccinated.  If Michael had been allowed to develop normally.

That’s why I’m writing this blog.  Because this is my story, Michael’s story. mmmm I’m not looking to absolve myself of responsibility.  The sad truth is that my story is not unique and it’s becoming increasingly common.  I’m trying to share our story in order to warn others.  I’m telling the truth and there is power in that.  Even if only one person has read to this point and it influences further decisions they make.

“The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”