I haven’t written in forever because I’ve been so busy with back to school stuff. I’ve also been very busy in my role as a caretaker for my son. Ragweed season here booted up about a month ago and caused a very severe flare for Gabe. His dad and I very reluctantly signed him up for an online school.
It was a really hard decision. You don’t want your kid to miss out on interacting with peers. It also felt like we were, in a way, waving a white flag in surrender to this horrible disease.
When we found out, back in February 2017, that the topical and oral steroids he had been using had actually caused their own illness; topical steroid addiction or red skin syndrome, we made it our mission to get Gabe better. We’ve done everything we possibly can to help him. We knew for sure he’d be better by last fall. He wasn’t. The months stretched on. He would make major progress and everyone would get their hopes up, only to watch him go through another terrible flare.
This prayer rings so true for me. An entire year after the time when we hoped he be well enough to go to school- there is a slowly gained acceptance. We’re doing all we can but he isn’t better. He still struggles. He has good months and then really bad months.
This fall when he started to spiral down into another flare I was obviously disappointed. I felt like we were just trudging through and he wasn’t any better than he had been, any further along in his healing, than he had been an entire year ago. That would be 20 months of him being up half the night scratching himself bloody, carrying him to the bath every single morning, giving him all sorts of vitamins, therapies, treatments…. just to see him lose the progress we had gained.
I was sitting next to his tub a few days ago when my google photos from a year ago popped up on my phone. I looked and there were pictures of him, exactly a year ago, sitting in the tub. Wow. I realized he did look so much better and still, has come so far. A year ago he looked like a first responder to a nuclear disaster. I’m not kidding. He was more open wound than skin. Areas that were healed are red and flaking again but I really believe his body is going through a deeper healing.
The point is, we need reminders from time to time. Reminders of how far we have come. Because we get weary on the way. We fall down. The enemy loves to whisper to us that we or our circumstances will never change or get better.
It’s a lie and don’t believe it for a minute.
The God who led you into your wilderness is going to lead you back out. You’re going to come out and when you do you will be wiser, stronger, humbled and with an unshakeable faith. You will have a testimony.
“The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the LORD, the splendor of our God. Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.” Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped. Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy. Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert. The burning sand will become a pool, the thirsty ground bubbling springs. In the haunts where jackals once lay, grass and reeds and papyrus will grow. And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness; it will be for those who walk on that Way. The unclean will not journey on it; wicked fools will not go about on it. No lion will be there, nor any ravenous beast; they will not be found there. But only the redeemed will walk there, and those the LORD has rescued will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.” Isaiah 35
“Dear Heavenly Father, give us strength to be brave in the face of adversity. Help us to hold onto hope. Help us to refute and cast down every lie that the enemy tries to speak over our lives. You may allow weeping for the night, but it never ends there. Your sun always rises and with it comes joy for those who put their trust in you. We believe, help us with our unbelief. You are good and worthy of all of our praises. Amen.”