The Saga Continues

So I watched er…listened to this video over the past couple days.  https://www.facebook.com/areyoucrooked/videos/2018168381763526/

The video is over two hours long so it took awhile to get through it.  Half of it was listening to it via Bluetooth while driving across the twin cities.  I didn’t see all the graphs and pictures but I definitely got the jist of it.

The video is made by Forrest Maready and he’s just a regular guy doing some pretty extraordinary things.  He is the dad of a child with autism and his wife has suffered with auto-immune disorders.  He’s been on a two year quest to uncover answers and this video (and a book coming out soon) is really the culmination of that.  He is very quick to point out that these are theories. 

For me it was really illuminating.  I, like many, have also suffered with auto-immune issues.  Which, I can trace back to the summer that I was 12.

Journey back in time with me to a wonderful era when the Spice Girls were huge.  The internet was confined to your clunky, slow home desktop computer.  Helicopter parenting was not yet invented.  I was a “free-range” kid before that was a thing.  We lived outside a small town in southern Minnesota and it was wonderful.  In the summer we disappeared into the woods behind our house for hours at a time.  We stayed out late catching fireflies.  We swam in a (gross) Lake Mazaska nearby.  In the winter we dug snow forts, sledded, went ice skating, all of that.  My mom always had me in sports.  I was a very athletic kid and would go to some sort of sport practice nearly every day. 527499_10152250637685074_1854436615_n

One of my favorite things to do was to explore abandoned structures with my friends.  Of course my parents didn’t know, but remember this was the 90’s and I was a free-range chicken, er….kid.  We liked to pretend an old one room school house was haunted and we’d spook ourselves silly and dare each other to go in alone.  It was great except for the time that I ended up stepping on an old nail.  It went through the sole of my shoe and pierced into the bottom of my foot.

I reluctantly told my mom who dutifully brought me in for a tetanus shot.

Now all of this was 20 years ago so this is a leap of connected memories and speculation but around that time I also developed debilitating asthma.

I had been an athlete and completely healthy.  But one night my mom said she found me in the hallway in the middle of the night wheezing for air.  I did tests which showed my lungs for very weak (all of a sudden…?) and got an inhaler and that was that.

But what if that wasn’t that?  What if that tetanus shot had just started a cascade that would continue to be unleashed?

I can also look back and see that something changed within me as well.  I had been a really happy kid.  I had a lot of friends.  But I would soon be plunged deep into depression and an eating disorder.  It was so bad that I attempted suicide multiple times as a young teen.

Now this is all speculation, of course.  But I did manage to dig up this study linking a two fold increase in asthma following tetanus vaccination https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10714532?dopt=Abstract

And this article explaining how the metals in vaccines can severely damage mental health http://whale.to/b/blaylock.html

As a young adult I mostly overcame these issues.  I forced my lungs to get stronger through progressively harder workouts.  I found faith and that helped with the mental health a lot.  I was really happy.

Then I got my pregnant with my second child and all hell broke loose.  My digestive system stopped working.  My thyroid went berserk.  I developed symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome.  I saw many doctors but really had to do a ton of research myself into figuring out that I had celiac’s disease and some other food sensitivities.

The weird thing is, I grew up eating wheat and it was fine.  I probably had three-four servings a day!  But now eating it would make me curl up in a ball from the stomach pain, it would shut down my digestion, I would be too exhausted to complete basic tasks.

I remember my husband being puzzled, like, why are you so sick?  You eat healthy and take such good care of yourself.

The interesting thing I learned in the video mentioned earlier is that when aluminum (back to that again!) is injected it gets gobbled up by white bloods cells, or macrophages, if we’re being technical.  These white blood cells can lay dormant in your muscle tissue until some event triggers them to act.  An event like *ahem* pregnancy or illness, stress, surgery, etc.

That’s why so many women develop auto-immune disorders after a pregnancy.

Again these are all theories hobbled together from real research.

But if you, like me, have auto-immune issues or autism or perhaps other issues you could trace back to a vaccine- there is hope.  You can reclaim your health.  Give the video a watch.  He spend the first part talking about the bizarre phenomenon of the rise of the lopsided smile.  It sounds weird but hear him out.  He gets around to auto-immune disorders and aluminum later in the video.

It starts with doing a heavy metal detox.  You can even get testing done to check your levels if you’re not sure.

It may be as easy as drinking a silica-rich water like Fiji.  The silica water is able to safely bind to aluminum and carry it out of the body. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2216608/Drinking-litre-day-mineral-water-prevent-onset-Alzheimers-flushing-aluminium.html

Other methods include detoxing through sweating, detox baths, taking vitamin c, and supplementing glutathione.

It could be coincidence that I went from a healthy, happy kid to a suicidal, asthmatic mess within two years time of getting a tetanus shot.  IDK maybe I’m completely wrong.  If I find compelling evidence I will reverse my position and blog about that too.

In the mean time we need to really, really examine this.  Not just for the sake of our own health but the generations coming after us.  Because this is only going to continue to get worse if we don’t do something.

 

 

 

 

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Our Vaccine Story

If there’s a grassroots movement any more controversial than refusing vaccines I certainly don’t know of it.  I really debated whether or not on whether to post our story because of the issue of the controversy associated with it.  The topic is incredibly polarizing and this is primarily a blog on living life as a Christ follower….but this is also something I feel incredibly passionate about.  If you don’t agree, that’s ok.  This is my story.

I had my first child, Michael, at the age of 18.  I was very young but I took the responsibility of growing a baby very seriously.  I went from a diet coke and skittles diet to eating balanced meals and lots of veggies. I took fish oil and gagged down pre-natal vitamins inspite of morning sickness.

Michael was perfect.  He was beautiful.  People would stop me on the street to comment on what a beautiful and happy baby he was.

He hit all his milestones early.  He was walking at 10 months.  He talked, he sang, he was a very happy and easy going baby.

But around the 18 month mark he underwent some extreme personality changes.  At the time I chalked it up to the fact that I had met, married and moved in with my husband very quickly and it was a LOT of change for a little kid to go through very quickly.

Michael would have uncontrollable tantrums.  Michael would bang his head violently in his crib at night.  It became difficult to bring Michael to public places because he would get completely out of control (sensory overload).  We also noticed that Michael had extreme reactions to loud noises.

At the time I was so young and knew almost nothing about autism.  This was almost 11 years ago and autism wasn’t as prevalent as it is now.

We began to realize that there was something wrong but we had no idea what.  We brought Michael out to parks frequently and there was a stark difference between him and the other kids his age.

The first time the “autism” word was introduced was when his great aunt commented that Michael acted in a similar manner as a man she worked with, and that man had autism.

As he got older he developed facial ticks.  He also developed a complete obsession with anything with a screen, especially video games.  Once we found him playing his Nintendo D.S. at five in the morning with a hollow look in his eyes.

He would say inappropriate things and seemingly overreact to the slightest touch or provocation.

I guess I always imagined that other people had special needs kids.  People that were smart and capable.  I was young and dumb.  If you can imagine a very young mom dealing with an autistic child when she knew basically nothing about the disorder- tough was an understatement.  I shudder thinking about the many times we “lost” it on Michael when we were presented with what we thought was extreme defiance and in reality Michael was coping with a traumatic brain injury.

I now believe that Michael was born healthy and so called “neuro-typical”.  I always had a strong feeling, call it mothers intuition, that that shots caused his condition.  As he grew and I realized the magnitude of his condition I turned to the modern marvel that is google.

I stayed up late reading story after story of parents claiming that their children were injured by vaccines.  Not just autism, but also SIDS and a wide variety of other issues.  Michael underwent a change that would have coincided with his 18 month check up and shots.  Unfortunately, I didn’t make the connection till years later.

They say, “safe and effective” and “reactions are 1 in a million”.  It isn’t true.  Most reactions go unreported because parents are uninformed.  They don’t know what to look for.  When the baby has a seizure a week after vaccines they don’t automatically connect the dots.  Or when somethings happens and they do confront the doctor, they are almost always brushed off and left to sort through the fallout themselves.  When a baby dies in his sleep following a well-baby check at 2 or 4 months it is ruled as SIDS and swept under the rug.

I didn’t learn till years later but pediatricians get bonuses (very large ones) from insurance companies when a certain percentage of their patients are fully vaccinated.  I was hesitant to vaccinate (I just had a bad feeling about it) but the Doctor was incredibly pushy and made it sound like my son would drop dead from an infectious disease if I didn’t get every shot, on time, plus countless boosters.  I ignored my feelings and went ahead because who was I to question established medicine?

Now I understand that Doctors are part of a very lucrative business.  The business of vaccines.  In 1989 vaccine developers were given complete immunity.  Us little people were no longer able to sue if our kid was severely injured.  Vaccines became a cash cow after that and a bunch of new ones were introduced to the schedule as quickly as possible.  It was a gold rush.  Testing was pretty minimal because vaccines are assumed to be safe and there is a strong financial incentive to assume that.  At around that time the first rumblings of autism were being heard. 1UKvV60fOjh6NLjHooUEqeA

I was born in 1986.  When I was in school we never heard of autism.  Or life-threatening peanut allergies.  Most kids were basically healthy and slim.  Health problems were very rare.

Is it a coincidence that the autism rate went from 1 in 10,000 in the 1980’s to now (some estimates put it as high as) 1 in 36?

The landscape of our schools has changed dramatically.  I know because I volunteer at my kids elementary school and you see it constantly.  Kids rock back in forth in their chairs.  Kids wear noise blocking headphones.  Kids need access to epi-pens at all times.  Teachers are stressed out trying to teach the kids while managing all the cornucopia of special needs represented in any given classroom.

It is tragically ironic that we inject our kids with so many vaccines trying to keep them healthy but they are incredibly sick, sicker than ever.

What I didn’t know back when my son was vaccinated is that these shots use aluminum in nano-particle form as an adjuvant-a substance that enhances the body’s immune response to an antigen.  They just assumed (based on ORALLY ingested) tests that the body could safely cope with and remove the toxic burden.  But ingesting and injecting are completely different ball games.  When we ingest aluminum we are able to clear it out of our systems almost completely through the natural digestive process.  But when we inject nano-particle aluminum our bodies send in white blood cells in response, which in turn surround (encapsulate) the aluminum, and then…it can travel throughout the body through our blood stream and lymphatic system.  It can and does get deposited in the brain.  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-5133049/Aluminium-vaccines-cause-autism.html  Aluminum is extremely neuro-toxic and no more so than when it invades the brain of a formerly healthy infant.  Or it can get lodged into muscle tissue until a traumatic injury or sickness signals the white blood cells to come.  The blood cells come and bring in a toxic cargo along with them.  That’s why not all vaccine injuries are seen immediately.  The aluminum can hang around in the body for an indeterminate period of time before causing all kinds of damage even years later.

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I find that it’s common that most parents will scour nutrition labels and be careful about what they feed their children (which is good) but have no idea what is actually being injected into their children.

Most people don’t know that there is peanut proteins (hello deadly food allergy!), tissue from aborted babies, and the same toxic carcinogenic junk they use to embalm dead bodies.  If you think I am making this stuff up you can visit the CDCs website and check out the ingredients for yourself. https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vac-gen/additives.htm

Autism is a blanket term for “neurological damage caused by vaccines”.  We are being lied to.  if you don’t believe check this out-

https://www.naturalnews.com/046630_CDC_whistleblower_public_confession_Dr_William_Thompson.html

A top CDC scientist came out and admitted that they had lied about the correlation they had found between the MMR shot and autism.  They purposefully fudged the data the hide the link.  Because admitting that they caused nothing less than a modern day holocaust on our babies is not something that they are going to do.

That explosive news never made it to main stream media.  Why?  Have you ever watched CNN or Foxnews?  It’s constant drug advertisements.  The pharmaceutical companies hold major sway in what stories see the light of day.

Are we all going to die if we don’t vaccinate? 22046511_10159471036940074_8637741367936285939_n I didn’t vaccinate my youngest and so far she hasn’t started any epidemics.  In fact she has no allergies, eczema, has never had an ear infection, and on and on.

Depending on where you live the only real threat is in getting measles.  Which contrary to popular, media-hyped, belief- is easily treated with mega doses of vitamin A.

Now research is showing that vaccines aren’t as effective as originally thought.  That measles outbreak at Disneyland?  Half of them were fully vaccinated.  Mumps outbreak amongst Norwegian college kids?  All fully vaccinated. http://sciencenordic.com/mumps-outbreak-hits-students-several-norwegian-cities

flu shotSo why risk injecting these toxic cocktails when there is no guarantee for real immunity?

Does the system really care about you or your health?  Or are you and your children being used for profit?  Globally, vaccines are expected to bring in 49 billion dollars next year in revenue.  https://www.statista.com/statistics/265102/revenues-in-the-global-vaccine-market/

It’s really up to you and it should be.

How is Michael today?  He’s doing pretty good.  He’s extremely lucky.  The real test is will he be able to function as an adult in society and I think that he will be.

That is not to say that is hasn’t been incredibly difficult getting to this point, that Michael hasn’t had to go through much pain, struggle and heartache for a choice he didn’t make.  I can’t articulate how hard it has been for all of us.

One conversation I will never forget is one I had with someone who was very pro-vax on the internet (cause those always go so well…) in which he accused me of looking for somewhere to lay the blame so I wouldn’t have to accept responsibility myself- for being a crappy parent and causing the autism somehow, I suppose.  Other than being completely insensitive and really horrific to say to a mother of a special needs child, it was so completely untrue that it literally could not have been more wrong.

The guilt is horrible.  I feel wracked with it at night when I let my mind wander and consider what could have been.  If I’d followed my gut and not had him vaccinated.  If Michael had been allowed to develop normally.

That’s why I’m writing this blog.  Because this is my story, Michael’s story. mmmm I’m not looking to absolve myself of responsibility.  The sad truth is that my story is not unique and it’s becoming increasingly common.  I’m trying to share our story in order to warn others.  I’m telling the truth and there is power in that.  Even if only one person has read to this point and it influences further decisions they make.

“The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”

 

Autism and Detoxing

I’ll be totally honest, this has been the first summer break I haven’t dreaded. Why? Because my oldest child, Michael, is on the autism spectrum with a side of A.D.D. It’s difficult to understand the strain and chaos that can entail if you don’t have a child on the spectrum.

That’s why I’ve always felt like I needed the break I get when he’s going to school everyday. Michael, like many other ASD kids, does best with structure and routine. Summer break just unravels all of that and leads to…well, stress that was enough to make me dread it months out.

I honestly haven’t this year, at all. Michael has made major progress. He’s been taking silica everyday and I think it has really helped.

See, I’ve done a ton of research (yes, I’m a proud google-mamma) and I believe all his neurological symptoms are a result of the synergistic toxicity described in this pub med study… https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3170075/ and others.

I had Michael very young and I did everything wrong. He got all his vaccines, and always with Tylenol.  It’s kind of a miracle he didn’t end up in worse shape.

But anyways the cumulative toxin overload essentially poisoned his brain and the resulting autistic symptoms were merely the result of cumulative vaccine injury.  He developed primarily sensory and behavioral issues.  Unlike other kids, we thankfully haven’t had to deal with food allergies, asthma, or gut problems resulting from his vaccine-injury.

Sierra….where’s your proof? I never had a dramatic event following a vaccine.  Michael never had a seizure or lethargy (that I can remember). He just went from being a sweet, bubbly, laid-back baby to a completely out of control toddler with major sensory issues. 192254_10150438180300074_8167383_o

I’ve no doubt in my mind that Michael was born perfect. The vaccines set him up for years of heartache and struggle….not to mention putting an enormous stress burden on myself and my husband in dealing with the fall-out.  His autism is nothing more than the degree of vaccine injury that was inflicted onto him as an infant.

For years I had heard about detoxing to reverse autism but I always assumed it was ridiculously complicated and out of reach for an average parent like me.  I just didn’t have a ton of hope that Michael could get better.  We dealt with the same behaviors and tantrums for years.  But then I saw this article http://realfarmacy.com/mineral-waters-remove-aluminum-from-brain/ …Detoxing and improving neurological health in ASD kids could be as simple as drinking a bottle of Fiji water every day.

I talked with Michael about it.  Smart kid that he is, he read the article and really wanted to give it a go.

There’s a big push in the autism community that we need to celebrate our kids autism and act like everything is a-ok.  Michael doesn’t think everything has been great.  Not when he didn’t have any friends at elementary school for two years.  Not when he struggles to control strong emotions he can’t always understand.  Not when he started to realize he was different.

He was extremely gung-ho to start, to the point that he begged me to get him a big supply of Fiji water.  It was touching and also kind of sad that he wanted so badly to gain healing from his autism.  We started right away and also bought him solgar’s oceanic silica (because everyone kept drinking his water!).

That was about three months ago and Michael has made major progress.  The tantrums have been less.  He seems more relaxed and happy.  He is just easier to be around.  Hence me not dreading summer vacation. 19055433_10158911764265074_4485162110289028260_o  I don’t think autism is something to be celebrated.  It has been like a cloud hanging over Michael, obscuring who he really is.  We owe it to our kids to help them to truly heal, so they can become that person they were meant to be.

What causes autism?  It seems glaringly clear to me.  It’s the synergistic toxicity (and the sheer volume) of the shots kids receive.  As the vaccine schedule has doubled and then tripled; autism rates have exploded.  It’s the toxins we spray so we can have pretty, bug-free lawns.  It’s the franken-food we eat.  It’s low vitamin D levels.  It’s the mthfr gene expression which makes it harder for some kids to detox the harmful adjuvants in the vaccines.

When 1 in 3 kids have a chronic health condition- we need to wake up.  In spite of (or because of!) our current vaccine schedule; kids are sicker than ever.  Somethings got to give when the projected autism rate is 50% of American children by 2025. http://www.inquisitr.com/1735694/autism-will-afflict-half-of-the-american -children-by-2025-and-glyphosate-is-to-blame-mit-doctor-says/

A Trip on the Short-bus

Shout out to all you who parent, love, or work with challenging kids.  Autism, O.C.D., O.D.D, A.D.D., A.S.S…(ha jk about that last one).

I have one (Michael) who is a whole lot of aspergers and a little bit of the other ones.  He is also very capable, almost a genius in fact.  He was starting to read at three and was put in a gifted program this year.

He is super smart but not the most *ahem* driven or compliant child to ever grace a classroom.

This year he has been quite a pain to his teachers- argumentative and refusing to complete work.  He was shocked to learn that he might be held back a year, and have to repeat fifth grade if he doesn’t get his act together.  “But I’m in the Quest program…”  Sometimes (all-the-times) we can’t sail through life on sheer giftings alone.  We need to be willing to work hard, to persevere, to see it through.

My son Michael also had one too many infractions on the bus and got put on the ‘short bus’.  He came home after his first day riding and was humbled.  He had to be strapped in and the other children riding had much more severe problems than him.  I think it was a bit of a wake up call.

Like Michael, we all have God-given giftings, abilities, talents, and passions.  But we also have many weaknesses, frailties, and struggles.  We have to wade through, work hard, never give up… if we want to realize our God-given potential.

Michael has the ability to be well-behaved and do great at school.  If he will or not is ultimately up to him.  Just like any of us.

So take this as an admonishment to do your best with what you have.  We all have cards stacked against us.  We might have to yell at some mountains in faith.  We might have to be stronger than we ever thought possible.  K2-Eight-thousander-List_of_countries_by_highest_point-List_of_highest_mountains

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” Matthew 17:20

 

 

 

Dark Tunnel

Today I’ve been thinking about brokenness in life and finding glimpses of light in dark spaces.  Cheery, no?

Life is heavy.  Life is hard.  Sometimes it all, plus the unrelenting pull away from God can all be too much.

I have a child with aspergers, high-functioning autism.  It’s never easy but sometimes it is just so hard.

Another child has eczema an it is a daily struggle to keep it under control.

I have my own health issues- which means I am on a very restricted diet or  I feel awful.

I tend to get sad and withdrawn because of the weight of it all.  So often we bear our burdens alone.  No one can totally understand what we go through.  Or we get platitudes or the dreaded unsolicited advice.

Plus the pressure we feel to act like everything is ‘ok’ when it isn’t.  Suffering is just part of life.  I wish we could just let things be what they are without trying to put a positive spin on it.

But if we are real we risk being judged or having our pain minimized.  Like Job.  We are uncomfortable with suffering so we try to come up with a quick fix, an answer, a reason…when sometimes things are just broken.  Sometimes prayers just go unanswered.

If we can’t be real in our brokenness and honest is our faith even real?  Jesus was the ‘man of sorrows’.  He understands even when no one else does.

“Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne…” Matthew 19:28

I’ve been thinking about that a lot- that there is going to be a great renewal of all things.

Every burden lifted.  Every tear gently wiped away.  Every last broken thing gloriously made right.

In the mean time I pray that my own pain and brokenness makes me a more compassionate, merciful, caring person.

No one has it all together.  We all have private hurts, pain, and burdens.  We all need mercy.  I think pain can be like the surgeon’s knife- cutting out the pride and arrogance and leaving something a little messier and tender and Christ-like in it’s place.

“Lord, all you asked us to do was to believe and follow you.  Help us to do that in spite, or even because of, our circumstances.  Help us to love.  Help us to be beacons of grace in a harsh world.  Help us to be strong until you come to set all things right and make all things new.”

 

 

No One Likes to be Judged

In this age of social media we are able, more than ever, to loudly and proudly proclaim our views- without helpful context or non-verbal communication.  It’s definitely contributing to people feeling misunderstood, irritated, and angry.

I saw something someone had posted recently that really touched a sore spot for me.  It was in no way directed at me (as far as I know!) but it still felt like I was being judged.  The post made sweeping generalizations about todays crop of kids with diagnoses (read-on the autism spectrum) that they mainly suffered from bad parenting.  Ouch.  Way to judge and dismiss a generation of parents that are doing their best to cope and struggling.  judge

It felt painful.  It made me angry.  It made me sad.  It is so easy to judge.  A lot harder to care and extend a helping hand.

I realize I felt the way I did because I do feel really insecure in this area.  My oldest child is very high-functioning but he has some pretty major behavioral issues.  It isn’t his fault.  It isn’t our fault.  It is just the way his brain is wired.  He probably would have been a very strong willed child regardless, but the autism takes it to a whole new level.  It is definitely a daily struggle.  We have never been permissive or negligent parents in any way, but it would be easy to surmise that we were from a small ‘snapshot’ of his behavior.

For parents that are already giving their all and worrying it isn’t enough- certainly the judgement of people who really don’t have a clue is not particularly helpful.

I wonder if people outside the ‘cookie-cutter’ church going type feel the same.  If they feel judged and dismissed when what they desperately need is some grace.

Jesus came full of truth and grace. John 1:14  God knows we need both.  Grace bridges the gap and truth sets us free.

So the next time we see a glaring (to us) sin or shortcoming let us pray for grace to see the human being behind it.  Maybe some empathy for their hurts, pains, and disappointments that have maybe gotten them tangled up in a mess they can’t get out of.  Grace.  Cause no one likes to be judged.

“For I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world.” John 12:47

“I Felt God”

20150617_185056_resized This is my son, Michael.  He is ten and he loves reading and video games.  His step-dad and I have tried hard to raise him right.  The first song he learned was ‘Jesus Loves Me’.  There’s been lots of prayers for a covering of grace because we have made so many mistakes, you know?  It has been a tough road at times.  Michael is super bright, funny and a natural leader but he also has aspergers syndrome.  That kid is as stubborn as a goat. 😉  He is too smart for his own good, for sure.  Thankfully, one thing (the most important thing) has sunken in.  His faith in God.

Last Sunday, as he often does, he got himself kicked out of children’s church.  So he sat by me through the service, doodling on an offering envelope.  About halfway through he started listening and quietly asking me questions.  When Pastor Al gave the altar call, Michael wanted to go.  I went up to the altar with him and stood behind him, quietly praying.  Pastor Al prayed over Michael and we went back to our chairs.

“I felt God.  He is here in the room.”  Michael said quietly.  “It felt like he was filling me up with his happiness.”

You can and should teach your kids about Jesus but nothing comes close to that first-hand encounter.  God only has children, not grandchildren, right?  So years of prayer and teaching culminated in Michael’s first real encounter with the living God.  I am grateful and pray that it is only the first of many.  Cause, as Michael said, he was born for this.