It’s a bit gloomy here (spring is always dicey in Minnesota!) but there are undeniable signs of spring. I can hear birds chirping right now and the sun is trying to peek out. I have been so happy because I love spring so much. The winter here is long, cold and dark. It isn’t even just the weather though, it’s that spring is such a symbol of new life and rebirth.
Spring always brings fresh life spiritually as well. I love Easter and all that it represents. Ten years ago it was spring when I finally let God in and had the most joyful season of jubilee that I will forever be marked by.
My life is a bit crazier than usual at the moment. I am in a full-time caregiver role to my son who is navigating red skin syndrome. He is mostly bedridden. His hands, wrists and legs are the hardest hit. So much so that walking or even writing with a pencil is difficult, and at times impossible. He is also struggling with insomnia so he is often very tired and cranky.
I know it is so imperative that I stay positive and joyful as his caregiver. Positivity is HUGE in healing. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/owning-pink/201112/can-positive-thinking-help-you-heal I need to create an atmosphere of positivity to help Gabe cope with his pain and frustration. Also, I need to stay positive to cope with being thrust into a very intensive caregiver role.
I had been really struggling. Big time. I was just succumbing to the negativity in my circumstances. It wasn’t just everything Gabe was going through. We all got sick for a ridiculous amount of time, two rounds of back to back flu. Plus my youngest acting out to get more attention (can’t blame her). Plus family drama. It was just a lot to deal with. And when I feel like that I inevitably start getting angry with God.
God is good and loving and generous and all that. But there are seasons where he really wants to mature us. He wants us to seek his face, seek HIM, and not all the wonderful blessings he bestows. We all get our “Job” moments.
I feel like I’ve gotten more than my fair share….but then I realize God had also bestowed such underserved favor and blessing on me as well. I have SO much to be thankful for. SO much.
I decided to really embrace joy and walk in trust and joy has been bubbling over. I have been ecstatic. I’ve been really happy. Really. It’s proof that we can be joyful and thrive in our faith even when circumstances are beyond difficult.
“Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.” Phil 4:4
Gabe is doing pretty good at the moment. I discovered a new very promising therapy for him, cannabinoid oil. I had been applying it to his skin without much improvement but then I decided to give him a drop internally. Wowza! He showed a huge improvement. He was happy and walking around and playing, which is kind of a miracle at this point.
Unfortunately I had already used most of the bottle on his skin so I ordered some more this morning. If this process has taught me anything it is that we should look to natural cures and therapies that work with the body instead of against it. Many people take steroids (which shut down the bodies inflammatory response) then when that stops working they get immunosuppressant drugs which shut down their immune system. We were perscribed such immune-destroying drugs but I’m so glad we didn’t use them.
In closing, please know that there is a God in Heaven who loves you. He created you. He uses both the good and the hard things to get your attention, to make you look upward.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37