I wanted to write another update on Gabe, because I haven’t for awhile and people ask how he is doing frequently.
It’s 6 weeks in and he is still in the hardest stage. People keep asking, “is he better yet?!” No, he isn’t. It’s a long, painful process and it just takes time. No, it isn’t an allergy. No, it isn’t eczema. There is no magic bullet. His body has to withdraw from the powerful steroid creams. That is a painful and difficult and long process.
The withdrawal started on his torso and neck but has worked it’s way down to his legs and arms. His neck and torso do look a lot better at this point. His legs look awful. They are by far the worst hit, because they received most of the steroids over the years. They are so dark they are almost purple. Every night we have to wrap his legs in bandages so he doesn’t shred them. Every night those bandages are soaked in blood and ooze.
Because of the rough shape his legs are in, and the toil the withdrawal is taking on his overall health, he can’t walk at this point. Well, not more than a few steps here or there. We carry him around the house. We are almost housebound.
We’ve been dealing with not only this but two rounds of the flu. Plus, a certain neglected 4 year old decided to stop going #2 on the toilet for a week. It was a week of negotiating and cleaning poo out of her clothes and off of carpet, walls, the ceiling (JK)… and on top of that I’ve been dealing with hurt over a lack of support through this, from the people I’ve supported in the past.
Plus most days we are exhausted because Gabe isn’t sleeping super great and needs treatment or just support through the night.
They say when it rains it pours. It can get hard to stay positive and I’ve done my fair share of crying alone in my closet.
Hurt and disappointment seep in and have a way of hardening the heart towards God. I woke up a couple days ago with the thought resounding in my mind, “you have an enemy and it isn’t God.”
God doesn’t cause the pain or hardship however he allows it. Pain can be a powerful impetus for change. I know I have quite a few “weeds” in my life that God wants to prune away.
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” 2 Cor. 4:7-9
Yes it hurts, and it’s hard. But we know that we will get through this. We know that God is for us. We know that there will be a rainbow after this storm.