I just read ‘Stormie’ by author Stormie Omartian. Our church was getting rid of a lot of books and so I picked it up for free. The copy was yellowed and dusty, from the year I was born- 1986. Her story is truly miraculous. I was thinking about my own rescue story and my heart started pounding with a Holy Spirit rush to share more of my own story.
I know God choses us according to His own mysterious ways. There was little in me that would cause Him to care, to reach out, to rescue.
I was 20. I had a whole backpack of ‘issues’. I had been involved in the occult. I was a thief. I was heavily involved in sexual sin. I was selfish and there was a lot of anger and ugliness in my heart. The Devil had a stranglehold on me and I had allowed it with every sin, every step away from the God I had known as a little girl.
My parents had gone to a Spirit filled church when I was little. I had received Him into my heart and I remember feeling his presence. But over the years my parents stopped going. A lot of things happened. I believe it was a very targeted, intense satanic campaign against our family. My Mom turned to alcohol and partying. My dad emotionally ‘checked out’. There was a lot of anger, yelling, and outbursts of violence in our home. They eventually divorced. When things started getting really bad we just ran further from God.
So, at about 19 or so I was a teen mom. My Grandma Judy helped me so much. I would call her when I as overwhelmed as a young Mom. She would drop everything to come and help. She started talking to me about God and Jesus. I was a bit interested but quite honestly I didn’t want to leave my sinful lifestyle. I had a lot of rebellion. She must have kept praying though because I was starting to feel things. I could feel this war going on for my soul. The devil was working hard to keep me but Spirit of God was breaking through.
When my little sister practically dragged me into a church, everything changed. I tentatively raised my hands during worship. I felt the presence of God there, knocking at the door of my heart. I started to sob and repent for my stupid, rebellious ways. I felt the love of God wash over me. All I could do was cry as his love melted my heart. How could I resist this? Why wouldn’t I want this? I surrendered my life again to the God of my life. I was filled with the Holy Spirit and transformed that day.
This is my story and it is 100% true.
I was totally hooked on experiencing God but I found it hard to leave my old life behind. I was still living with my mom who was still drinking and partying. I had to learn a new way of life, new coping skills. It was really hard to get out of sexual sin. The one sin that affects you more than anything else. 1 Cor. 6:18 I share because I know so many can relate. I found out years later that molestation had occurred very early in my childhood. Satan dug a pit for me and I fell in. A deep sense of shame and self-hatred had propelled me to make really bad choices.
I share because I know a heart-breaking number of people can relate.
I had surrendered my heart but cleaning up my train-wreck of a life was going to take time. God knew I needed a safe place. Home was still tumultuous and not a good environment for my young son. I needed love and a sense of security.
God changed my heart from being attracted to ‘cute jerks’ to a new desire to have stability and love and marriage. I remember telling my sister that and she looked at me like I was crazy. But God was moving. Soon after I met Tim. Tim was kind, stable, a believer and just a great guy (and cute!). Most of our courtship took place at church. It was part of my personal rescue plan.
“God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing…” Psalm 68:8
We got married really quick and God gave me a safe place to grow and heal. Tim has loved me through thick and thin. He took on my son and became a Father to him. I got the loving family I always wanted. Wedding Day 4-21-07
My sister (the one that dragged me to church) Sasha,
my Mom (Lori), me, Tim, Michael,
My other sister Erica and her son
My testimony is that God loves us at our worst. He loved me when I had rebelled, sinned against him, and spit in his face. My life is a story of his incredible grace and mercy.
God wants to turn around the things in your life that were intended to destroy and for his glory turn it around for your good. His love is a rescuing love. He is redeemer, healer, and provider.
“‘Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, “Live!” Ezekiel 16:6
God still does miracles. He binds up the broken-hearted. He delivers us and breaks every chain.
I started praying for my mom (though it seemed hopeless). She is now sober and restored. She is such a huge blessing in my life and to my family, and I love her so much. She has her own miracle-rescue story. God is amazing.
No matter what you have done, what’s been done to you, or what you are facing- God is bigger. He loves you in a way we can’t comprehend. He is good.
“In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.” Exodus 15:13
I remember at times feeling so hopelessly messed up, like no amount of therapy could help. Receiving the Holy Spirit into my heart and God’s love did what nothing else could do- in an instant.
God not only saved my soul but he gave me a new life.
The awesome thing is- God is no respecter of persons. He has no favorites. Acts 10:34 Colossians 3:25 God has a personal rescue plan for all of us. He came to seek and save the lost. Luke 19:10
“Everything the Father gives me will come to me, and I’ll never turn away the one who comes to me.” John 6:37
That is my testimony. I still love Jesus. He is still healing and delivering me (daily!) mostly from myself. 😉 Do you have a testimony? Do you want one? Jesus died on the cross so that you could. My hope and prayer is that you find this great salvation as well.