Through the Storm

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I’ve shared a bit about my 6 year old son, Gabriel and his health struggles.  We’ve been battling eczema for about three years.  He also struggles with anxiety and fear.

I think it really began before he was born.  The pregnancy was awful.  My husband and I went through a brutal custody fight for my son, Michael.  I was consumed with anxiety and fear and couldn’t sleep at night.  I started having major health problems that continue, in a way, to this day.

He came into the world in quite the dramatic way.  Three weeks early I was up most of the night with intense contractions (sorry guys, avert your eyes!) my water broke after my husband had driven to work (an hour away!)…I called him to race home and take me to the hospital (which was a 1/2 hour away).  He made the trip somehow in half the normal amount of time.

I was gripping the counter when he got home and practically swearing like a sailor!  We raced off to the hospital through morning traffic.  I was in active labor and we were dealing with pokey drivers!  Through the contractions I noticed one of the most beautiful sunrises I had ever seen.  I remember thinking, ‘what a beautiful morning to be born.’

I staggered into the hospital alone as Tim parked the car.  It was close.  They rushed my into the delivery room.  It was too late for any pain relief.  I was freaking out, totally unprepared for the pain and urgency.  Then the umbilical cord prolapsed and it turned into a dangerous life or death situation.  Gabe’s heart rate was dropping as his oxygen supply was getting cut off.  The Doctor raced in from the parking lot (there had been none there incidentally when we arrived) and the room filled up with nurses ready to take me in for an emergency C-section.  The Doctor told me I had to push this baby out NOW.  I bore down through the agony and pushed with everything I had.

I think it was only a minute or two before he was out.  It was awful.  He was blue-ish and not moving.  I started crying out to God and they whisked him away to give him oxygen.

He was pretty tiny at 5 lb.s 10 ounces but healthy and beautiful.  1931405_115168950073_2317_n

We went to ‘meet’ our son in the nursery and while all the other babies were crying Gabe quietly looked up at us.  He was so alert and calm after such a dramatic birth.

He has been such a blessing and joy to us.  He got my hazel-brown eyes and sensitive soul.

I see in him a heart for ministry.  He is so sensitive, loving and caring.  He is so receptive to the things of God.

I feel in my heart that he has had to deal with so much because there is a very real struggle for his destiny.  He had low muscle tone and needed a lot of help learning to walk.  He has always struggled with fairly severe anxiety.  And a little crusty patch that started on the back of his knee has slowly consumed most of the surface of his skin with dry skin, crust, and oozing sores that itch constantly.  It is a constant battle.  He often doesn’t sleep well because of it.  He is often in pain.  The eczema has brought us to our wits end.     My baby and I last summer- 10574293_10202019693968587_408779126700107518_n

So, yesterday when my mom texted me that there was going to be a healing service especially for children at her church that night, I was all over it.  Just before we left ominous storm clouds had blown in.  Gabe and I got into the car just as heavy rain started to fall.  Pretty soon the rain got heavier and it started to hail.  I thought briefly about turning back, as it was an hour drive.  I pushed on though because I felt like this was some sort of bizarre spiritual attack to keep me from taking Gabe to the service.

I drove slowly through the rain and hail, while many people had decided to pull over to the side of the road to wait it out.  I felt a growing sense of purpose and destiny in this trip.  For most of the way I could see a beautiful rainbow ahead, seemingly leading me through the storm.

As I type I have tears in my eyes.  There is nothing like seeing your beloved child suffer.  It has been a hard road.  I’ve held onto the verse and promise that God will cause all this to work together for Gabe’s good.  It has been a pretty big leap of faith a times.  20150503_173812_resized

The service was very anointed and Spirit-filled.  Pastor C.J. at Discover Family Church in Burnsville was prophetically calling people out of the audience to recieve healing.

He spoke about a passage in scripture that I had just been reading.  How Hannah had dedicated her child to the Lord, her child that had been an answer to prayer.  I thought about the many times I had dedicated Gabe to the Lord in prayer.

My mom and I brought Gabe up to be prayed over.  Pastor C.J. prayed over his mind (without me saying a word about his anxiety) and spoke to my fears- that Gabe IS going to grow up to be a strong healthy young man in spite of the diagnosis and words spoken over him.  He looked me in the eyes and said, “you need to protect him.  He has a very special call on his life and the enemy is trying to stop it.”  He prayed for me as well and told me a long-awaited breakthrough is coming.

I think of the importance of a single life.  Jesus died for it.  The enemy works furiously to destroy it.  Every life matters.  Every human being is knit together with inherent purpose, destiny, and value.

Perhaps Gabe’s healing with be a process that we will have to keep walking out.  Please pray for us.  I want so much to triumph and completely derail the enemy’s plan for my family.  I want my children to grow up to be mighty warriors for God.

20150503_204946_resized  -My little Warrior

I know the struggle is real.  I feel like the enemy tried hard take me out and very nearly succeeded.  I am determined to stand against and expose his schemes.  He will not get my kids.  I will stand in the gap.

“‘Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, “Live!” Yes, I said to you while you were in your blood, ‘Live!'” Ezekiel 16:6

If I had a ‘life verse’ that would be it.

We serve an Awesome God.  We have to go through many trials to inherit the Kingdom of God, it’s true.  But there is always a rainbow after the storm, when God is involved.

He looks at the dying and hopeless and says, “Live!”

I will look at my difficult situations and chose to trust and believe and know that God is working out something huge.  Every trial is shaping and strengthening us and bringing us closer to a God-breathed destiny.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

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