I still remember so many details from when we first met. We had agreed to meet up at the Mall of America. I had brought my toddler Michael along in case I needed a quick excuse to leave. I had been wading through the murky world of online dating for a few months and had only met duds. They looked good on their profile but when met in real life my b.s. (baloney-slop) detector started going into overdrive almost immediately.
I noticed right away that he was as tall as he had claimed (most guys fudge that a bit) and he was pretty cute. He had a quiet humility and an ‘ah shucks’-ness about him that I loved right away. He was polite, kind and considerate. Not a blip on the b.s. detector. We walked countless laps around the mall and talked about what was important to us. We shared so much in common it was almost spooky. He valued faith, marriage and family- in that order. He was responsible, intelligent, and hard-working. He had lived off of p.b. and j.’s and 4 hours a sleep a night for a couple years to put himself through college while working two jobs. At only 27 he had accomplished a lot and had a good head on his shoulders. He had made mistakes (as had I) but he had a solid commitment to following Christ. He didn’t speak with vitriol over a failed marriage (girls- huge warning sign if you’ve barely met and he is already dissing ex’s!!) in his early 20’s. There were no games. We were both looking for the real deal.
He was and is honest to a fault. After that first night I knew everything I needed to know. This was the guy I wanted to marry.
He didn’t mind my passion for my new found faith at all. Most of our dates were at church and bible studies. I told him we should try to be friends for awhile so I could focus on my faith. That lasted for like 2 days!
Everyone thought we were nuts (except maybe Tim’s mom Terry who sensed that we were being lead by God) when we got married within a couple months of meeting. We chose a quick court ceremony. We didn’t have money for a traditional wedding and didn’t want to deal with the time and stress of planning one. Plus, the thought of being the center of attention makes us both want to run and hide.
Tim was exactly what I needed. I was a young single mom. I needed him and my son needed a good Father figure. Tim immediately stepped up to the plate in helping me raise Michael. He told me to quit my job so I could stay home. He took care of us.
We both ‘get’ each other on so many levels. He is an ISTJ and I am a INFJ personality type. We are both introverts and are often happiest hanging out with just each other. We are both ‘judging’ so we don’t like a lot of chaos and we like things orderly. Though he is a ‘sensor’ (practical, logical, down-to-earth type) and I am ‘intuitive’ (follow my heart & emotions, head in the clouds type). We get on each others nerves sometimes but really balance each other out. He loves tradition and hates change. I am always looking to try the new thing and evolve as a person. He is stable and steady, I am extreme and laugh in the face of moderation. I bring fun and spontaneity to his life and he keeps me from plunging off the deep end.
I (occasionally) put up with his music taste (stubbornly stuck in the 90’s) and he puts up my general nuttiness and penchant for going overboard.
He flat out refuses to dance. I love dancing. He likes ‘old people’ music. I love young, fresh upbeat stuff. I am a health nut. He begrudgingly takes the supplements I push on him with his mountain dew and Kraft mac and cheese.
He is my rock. He is the love of my life. He is ever-practical but also deeply sentimental. He is a wonderful parent. A hard-working provider. You won’t find him missing work unless he is practically on his death bed.
He loves and accepts me at my best and at my worst, inspite of my tireless efforts to be his personal life coach or ‘holy spirit junior’.
I love him so much. His unfailing love has been such a model of the love of Christ. Tim is not a quitter. He know what is important and he will spend his life on those things. I respect and admire him so much. I trust him 100%. He is everything a godly man should be.
Honey- I love you so much. I can’t imagine my world spinning without you by my side. I will always love you.